Where are we taught how to be an authentic parent? One who acts with integrity, wisdom and courage and who listens, quietly, to the wisdom of their own heart.

Rather we absorb, unconsciously the teaching and patterns of our own childhood. We then are surrounded as parents by the “rules” spoken and unexpressed of our peers, other parents and families. The parenting manuals each prescribe differing psychological or sociological theories on which approaches support optimal rearing and development.

Yes, support is good, information is good, but all of these approaches take us ...out. Out “there”. Away from the quietness inside where we will always find the answers that are the right fit for us, for me, my family, my child. What is essentially a community activity – the rearing of a child – has become disconnected and thrust largely on to the hands of one or two individuals. Our children miss out on the far greater pool of energy, wisdom and emotional resources and diversity. Parents are overloaded, over-stretched and isolated and pulled away from the opportunities to nurture our own wisdom.

An event with one of my sons this week taught me wonderful lessons. I listened quietly to his responses to poor choices he had made. I offered my thoughts and initially indicated what the consequences would be. Then I felt a lot of sadness, not just at what he had done, but much moreso at taking action that did not sit with my heart, that was more measured by conditioned response, how others might respond or what might commonly be deemed “appropriate”. So after a spell of sitting quietly and going IN for my guidance, and discussing with my husband, we came up with creative and positive responses that felt infinitely better. I don’t want to continue patterns of teaching through punishment or guilt. This is not how we learn best.

And, “miraculously”, when my son came to see that he was truly being given an opportunity to learn from his mistake and develop his ability to take responsibility for his actions, he transformed from being in a space of dejection and feeling rejection to enthusiasm, and involvement. He started to have ideas of lots of ways he could take on new responsibilities. He was able to move back into receiving affection and love, knowing that he was always loved. We are simply trying to support him to grow and learn the best we possibly can.

We have to really pay attention to the level of awareness we bring to all our interactions with our children. How conscious are our choices? Are we expressing disapproval, silently or otherwise or holding on to anger? It does not matter what anyone else would do. Be bold. Be brave enough to go into your heart. And listen, softly….There I also found a new level of compassion. He made a mistake. I make mistakes every – single - day….Thank you Sam x

For my sisters in circle, especially:

So here is the choice, today.

To write words about beauty,

About Life,

About being in the moment?

Or to really allow myself to slow down,

To savour

The blueness of the sky behind the bare branches,

To touch the folds of my white sheets,

To inhale the scent of incense

And breathe in the colours of my food.

Lakshmi offers her abundance,

The ripeness of beauty

And in her arms, I dive, softly, sweetly.

My sisters hold the circle

Of aeons,

Surrounded by rose-petals

And its tenderness cloaks the burning depths of the fire,

And the power of amrita

To soothe my parched longing.

In that utter held-ness,

In that space that I have allowed,

Bathed in gratitude,

I come home to the Presence

On Shri Lakshmi Jay Namaha

Written 26/1/12, Samye Ling

And so the small self, the ego-mind says, "Who do you think you are? - to think you have something to offer the world, to be so audacious?

And in the stillness below, in the Truth, my soul is in peace. For I am acting, finally, in alignment with its' call. A call I too often choose not to hear.

What I am sharing by birthing my healing retreat - or anything I create - is what I am sharing here...

- myself

- my heart

-my human-ness

-my journey of healing and wholing.

This is the great journey we are all on, whether we know it or participate consciously. The journey to re-align with our source is one that has no end. This journey is all of our journey.

And the birthing, gestation and growing pains of this first creation will bring great growth and learnings.

We are divine in human bodies. We are Light, living with minds that throw up resistance, doubt and fear. In sharing my very human-ness, the protests of my ego-self and allowing myself to be vulnerable, I allow more of my truth to be seen. In creating and expressing in alignment with my soul, I honour that in me, and so in you.

Certainty is gone from my life and plans are futile. As I surrender more fully, my life becomes daily more infused with the fragrance of wonder, more joy, more love of opening to the infinite possibilities of all that is.

And so it is.

I am, to paraphrase the grace-filled words of John O'Donohue,"Unfurling myself into the grace of beginning."